Some People….

You must realize that some people are in this world only to help you discover at some point that you are still able to dream or feel not more…they will not be a part of your life, maybe they only exist in your imagination…And that’s OK… Written in October 2017

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Keep Focusing

معظم الناس لا يهمها سوى تحطيمك عليك أن تحافظ على تركيزك متوجهاً نحو أهدافك لا أحد سواك مسؤول عن وصولك إلى أهدافك بل أكثر من ذلك، الجميع سيحاول كل ما بوسعه لتضليلك وعرقلة طريقك وحملك على تغيير اتجاه سيرك وفي غالبية الأوقات ترى نفسك مقتنعاً بما يقولونه ومغيراً مسارك، الأمر المحزن والمؤسف الذي يؤدّي إلى تخليك عن أحلامك رويداً رويداً والإستسلام إلى الحياة العادية واالمملة التي فرضت عليك أحياناً حتى ظننت أنها الحياة الوحيدة المتوفرة والمسموحة January 2019

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Mutual Relationships

All relationships should be mutual…otherwise just retreat. Some people just like to receive care / admiration / respect / even simple greetings without the intention of giving them back, or to simply be kind enough to treat you the same way or even a bit close. You must know that these people seek fans and followers not acquaintances, if you’re a fan or follower then no problem, it’s your call and your life and no harm of that. But many people, including me, are unable to follow…they believe in mutual respect and trust…they believe in reciprocation so they just retreat and keep their distance without judging or criticizing. Everybody is free to act as they want as we are free to react the way it suits us as well. I mean unless you’re one of my idols in life or some very big star (which I hardly care), I’m not seeking to be your follower or fan, I’m trying to build a relationship, create a bond and if it’s not mutual, I just retreat silently. Written in December 2018  

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Judging…

Looking back and tell yourself you were stupid, I should have done this and not that is judging yourself the same way you judge others when you criticize without knowing the people circumstances, what they are going through, what’s their story….you are only a watcher, a spectator from afar and you’re not in the middle of the situation, so having an opinion about their behavior and actions is just judging. Same case when you look back now, while you are sitting, has nothing to do, with no stress, you watch what happened in your head and judge yourself. You just can’t take your mature self, your comfortable and stress-free self, to the past and say why I did this and not that! It’s so useless, so wrong and unfair to you as it is unfair to others as well. Regret the past is the stupidest thing you can ever do. You can just see if you can learn from your previous actions and improve not more. Written in November 2017

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Kindness….

Whatever you do in life, whether you learn something new every year, you have BA, master, many certificates and high level educations, buy new stuff, buy branded clothes, hi-tech electronics and stuff, whether you are super smart and beautiful…You will find that someone else just did it, or someone is better than you or like you….someone has invented things you thought about, opened businesses you wanted to have, you feel that there is a lot of everything, too much competition, too much information, too much things…you feel that your ideas or feelings are outdated, you are so left behind, many have been there, did what you wanted to do….there is too much of everything….except kindness, it is so so few… being kind and nice will always be creative! And it’s never outdated. Just be kind and expect nothing in return… When I go back and remember all the people that were in my life, that never forget about me despite the distance and time….I find only one reason: I was nice! They didn’t care if I was smart, and I wasn’t rich nor famous…I had nothing to give…but I was kind! Something I lost maybe years later, I’ve become more rigid and intimidating…because I couldn’t handle the heavy burden of being alone in a world full of hatred, hypocrisy and fake people…I was standing alone and I felt a huge responsibility, a lot of pressure! I wasn’t that strong so […]

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Random Thoughts

When you have something, you cannot imagine what it’s like to not have it unless you lost it at some point, so it’s useless to keep thinking that this person is so lucky, they have family, they have money, they have health…how they can’t see how lucky they are! These people don’t know what you’re talking about unless they lose some of the things they took for granted even if they didn’t have any bad intention they just don’t know what it’s like to be otherwise! A beautiful girl, rich and loved by her family will never understand what it’s like to be not so pretty, or poor, or not well surrounded or loved…it’s the only reality she knows, until something happens and her reality changes or collapse, then or she begins to understand or she just falls apart for good…. So when I look at people that were born in respectful civilized countries where applicable laws rule over….living in healthy environment, having their basic rights and respect and education and so….I wonder why would they be unhappy or miserable? I walk in the streets, I feel stressed and unhappy, I drive I lose my mind and many times so nearly my life! I’m struggling for my basic rights and I have none! Family and love, well no comment!Then I realize how wrong I am, because these people don’t know what the hell I’m talking about but they still can […]

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Casual Conversation

Friend: look at me; is there something wrong with me? Why …doesn’t care? Doesn’t love me! Am I that bad?Me: what’s wrong with God?Friend: what’s wrong with God? God is perfect! What are you saying! Me: Still, there are millions and maybe more that attack God, not only do not love him, you seem surprised!Friend: yes yes I know…just confused! Me: we call them atheists and they are freeFriend: yes right but what do you mean! Why you’re mentioning God and atheists?Me: I mean you can be more than perfect but you can’t force love and admiration! It’s irrelevant! Friend: Even if I made lot of efforts and didn’t give up at all!?Me: well it’s like taking someone to the best steak house in town but they are Vegetarians! Or Vegans…Eternal SilenceMe: what about those who are chasing you and you’re ignoring them? Why you don’t give them a chance? What’s wrong with them?Friend: I’m not interested! They mean nothing to me!Me: Really? You got your answer thenFriend: damn you’re so rude!Me: Yes, truth is rude dear but I love itFriend: I don’t! But I do appreciate your honesty so much! Now I have many things to re-consider even if I will not admit Me: it’s enough to admit to yourself….fair enough… Written in November 2018

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2018 Resolutions and Lessons!

2018 is over; It was mostly and generally a dull year full of disappointments, sad events, loss of great people and economic crisis that led many to lose their jobs and a certain level of living. Despite, we always learn and improve: Personally, I was convinced that exercise and workout should be a habit, a life style and so it was. I lost 34 pounds and maintaining my weight perfectly. I learned to enjoy my own company and to embrace quality time with myself. I was convinced that some people have a short role in your life, some have only one scene, some just pass by in the background of your life events…when you know that, you just let go and it’s not nonchalance or rudeness, it’s just accepting the facts and moving on. I was convinced that marriage is the worst institution ever and society is so fucked up struggling to maintain a fake image and many innocent creatures are paying a huge price. I was sad to realize that the woman in my country is not respected as they are claiming especially as a mother and partner; even her children won’t stand for her when she needs them, those children that she gave them her all and her life… I witnessed how Lebanese society is retarded, judgmental and racist apart from a small percentage of very well educated and respectful people that are lost among these garbage and […]

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Our Happy Ending

We live our life hoping that a day will come and we’ll no longer feel pain, we will find happiness, love, we will no longer cry silently….we will have our happy ending and for once everything will be perfect and finally we will experience serenity….But the thing that we remain unhappy but we don’t talk about it anymore We feel pain but nobody knows, we hide our feelings perfectly and we restrain our emotions, our anger and all kind of feelings: heartbreaking, jealousy, pain in the chest, agony, disappointment, rejection, loneliness, confusion….feeling helpless, empty, useless, vulnerable, miserable….etc We keep feeling some or all this but we make sure nobody knows…this is the only thing that changes! We bury everything deep down inside, we smile and pretend we really reached our happy ending  Written in September 2017

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When They Ignore You

When someone ignores you completely or partly, please believes them! It’s either they don’t care, or they have other priorities because nowadays in 2017 (nearly 2018) people are literally more addicted to their cell phones than drugs, they hold their phones while eating, partying, sleeping, swimming…having sex maybe, dying…and they rather lose their hands and their lives then put their phones down from their hands or keep it out of their sight! So can you imagine? The entire world between their hands, all notifications and messages, all mediums to connect to other people with voice, message, video..…and then, no time to reply? So please believe people when they ignore you and move on. Written in October 2017

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Game Over

أحياناً نخسر اللعبة طوعاً وبإرادةٍ كاملة منّا ليس لأننا لا نجيد اللعب بطريقة أفضل بل كي ننقذ أشخاص نهتم لأمرهم كي نمنعهم من الغرق، كي نسمح لهم بأن يشعّوا ويتألقوا، فيظنوا بأنهم لاعبين ماهرين، بأنهم يربحون  ونحن  أغبياء إنما هم لا يعلمون أنه حين نفقد كلّ احترام، كل ثقة تجاههم، حين يتحول التقدير والإعجاب إلى احتقار  عندها يخسرون كل شيء بخسارتنا وعندها فقط تكون اللعبة قد انتهت Written on March 3rd 2013

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People claim

People claim: I want honest people in my life, I’m full of liars But….when you are honest, they run away from you… People claim: I need someone to care …I’m full of careless and cold people But….when you care and spread warmth and tender….they feel scared and confused and send you to hell in the first opportunity People claim: I need someone loyal and have integrity; I’m full of cheaters and manipulation But….when you are loyal and ready to die for them….they take you for granted and look into the first eyes they meet… People claim: I want to be treated in a special way; I want to feel unique and different than others But….when you treat them like no other, and do all what it takes to make them special and unique…they don’t even notice and they become more and more arrogant. People don’t need any from what they claim! People just need to do what they want but with the people they choose even if it’s lying, cheating, manipulating or whatsoever … And they won’t notice or even care about any honesty, care, love….if they are coming from the people they don’t want…. People that are claiming, just stop complaining…. You are choosing to be what you are; you are choosing to be with whom you are  You are choosing the storm when there is a shelter You are choosing the darkness when there is a light You […]

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من أنا

هل استفقت يوماً لتكتشف بأنك تكره كل ما اعتدت أن تحبه تكره طريقة تصرفكَ، أُسلوبكَ، ملابسكَ، ذوقكَ لا تحب كل ما تفعله عادةُ، لا تريدُ أن تكون مع من تكون عادةً  تكتشفَ أنّ هذه الحياة ليست حياتكَ  وتتمنى لو أنّك تختفي لتظهرَ في عالمٍ آخر مناقضٍ لعالمكَ؟ إستفقتُ ولم أجدني بحثتُ عنّي دون جدوى لا أدري من ذا الذي حلّ […]

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