Since December 2019, the world has been introduced to a new virus, “Covid-19” and this virus has shortly evolved and became a “Pandemic”.

As a result, the world suffered a lot since the beginning of 2020, millions of deaths, critical cases, long recoveries, pain and huge economic crisis.

Consequently, the world changed their rules and the social life as we know it has shifted drastically: i.e. we started to get used to face masks, sanitizers, social distancing, washing hands, quarantine, lockdown, PCR.

Therefore, many words we hardly used before December 2019 dominated, and even some words were so unfamiliar or never heard of them before.

Today, it’s July 2022 and the pandemic still wandering along with its different variants, refusing to disappear and leave earth for good despite the science’s hard and ongoing efforts to contain it.
As a matter of fact, we were introduced to new variants and Covid-19 is currently at its peak.

How Humans Usually Behave?

First, you are cautious and afraid to catch the Covid-19, then you start to just minimize your defenses, everybody stopped wearing a mask so you feel awkward to keep wearing it, Covid-19 measures are minimized everywhere. You follow the trail and suddenly, without prior notice you start to feel tired and unwell.

Therefore, many scenarios pop in your head:

– It was so hot and I was standing in the sun all day, it’s the heat effect, I’ll be fine soon.

– I took a bath and then was exposed to the AC, I will rest and I’ll be fine.

– It was so hot and then I turned the AC on in my car, therefore, it’s normal to feel this way.

Eventually, you keep getting more tired and at this point, one scenario dominates and makes you anxious and suspicious: What if it was Covid-19?

Oh No

The Denial

Firstly, you’re in denial: impossible! Couldn’t be Covid, it’s just some regular flu, sun exposure, etc.…

Afterwards, you decide to wipe all doubt and thus, you rush to do the PCR.

Meanwhile, and while waiting for the result, you are still scanning all possibilities, what you did, where you went, who you saw and when you removed your mask?

Suddenly a message beep on your phone interrupts your thoughts and boom! Congratulations dude, you are positive!

Covid-19 changed the good meaning of the word “positive” and for the past 3 years it was the scariest word to hear! “Positive”

spongebob-corona funny Gif

On July 8th, 2022, I saw this word for the second time after I was infected in April 2021 and recovered. But have I really recovered? No not really. Obviously, this needs a separate and detailed post.

Thus, what I described above is exactly what I experienced personally before seeing the word “positive” and I will continue to describe further my Covid diaries after this word.

The Rush And The Isolation!

Subsequently, I rushed to inform work, the line manager, HR, colleagues, friends, family and every single person I smiled at during the last week! I mean, a smile can be contagious, you see? 😁

Decisions need to be taken so fast: CANCEL EVERYTHING! The easiest decision you can take in your entire life, shut down everything immediately, turn off the camera and leave!

The fever I was having wasn’t taking seriously before the word “positive” but suddenly now it is so serious.
Every 5 minutes I’m using the thermometer until I heard it
“screaming” not “beeping”

“It’s the damn same temperature you took 5 minutes ago!”
(Sincerely: your thermometer😡 )

Angry

Suddenly I have a mini-pharmacy on my table, medicines I didn’t even know I had! I Checked the expiry dates and then proceeded accordingly.

At the same time, my phone would not stop ringing and beeping, names are climbing on each other and my eyes are rolling, my brain is screaming!
Whereas, they wonder why anger and stress are from Covid symptoms!
Certainly, now you know why! 🙄 You’re most welcome!

I've Had enough - angry

The Acceptance

In the meantime, I felt shocked, I weep my lost vacation since I got Covid just before a long vacation in Lebanon, instead I prepared myself for a total isolation, for exclusion and fear.

Moreover, I scan the past week to check the infection possibilities, and who the suspects are! And believe me, you never succeed.
However, regrets are hovering in my mind and I hear a deep voice in my head “a la Gollum” whispering
“You really had to remove your mask stupid!”

Guilt then anger then acceptance. I’m in quarantine mode and I have Covid 19. Period.

I've Had enough - angry


Covid-19 Is Not A Flu!

I remember years ago when we used to get sick, specifically get flu, family and friends used to just stay away few feet, just ask you to not breathe and sneeze in their face, which is fair enough!
On the other hand, with Covid 19, they lock you in a room, they throw the food on your door and run away, they look at you as if you have a “plague” and you will turn into a dire wolf and smash their faces.
You can see fear in their eyes, anxiety in their faces and of course you’re in a total isolation.

Each day consists of taking temperature, panicking, having meds, fluids, soup, healthy food, checking oxygen and heart rate. Vitamin C and D. Your mother is calling every 5 minutes? Are you Dead yet? You added aspirin? Are you eating well? How do you feel?

Like I have Covid! What is this question for God sake?

Then your aunts and family are calling one after the other

(I wonder how they knew! My mother is faster than Reuters!)

Prescriptions, advices, life experiences, learned lessons while you’re hardly standing and your voice is hoarse.

And again how do you feel?

baby sleepy and tired

The Deadly Routine!

Each day, I have this urge need to clean, arrange, wash, I feel everything is dirty! Therefore, I panic and despite that I’m extremally tired, I just jump from the bed, and I start to work. I’m just obsessed to clean it all, arrange it all! I didn’t even know that I have a very strong OCD inclination. Covid’s symptoms keep getting better and better through years!

Mr Sponge cleaning frantically

 

Subsequently, I receive food supplies from my close friends, I feel sad for not being able to let them in or spend the vacation with them. Instead, I go back to my room and I reflect on life and existence.


Do you think dinosaurs will be back? Do angels exist? Who am I?

Since my reflections are not going well, I open my laptop and try to read or write and distract myself and suddenly I’m gazing at the screen not understanding a thing! Zero concentration and my energy is draining!
Suddenly I’m falling asleep while sitting like I had two bottles of wine. Except I hadn’t!
Afterward, the wiser decision is to sleep.

sleep on laptop

I sleep, I wake up and repeat.

On the other hand, daily investigations occur. So basically if I caught it from “X” then basically I’m in day 5. But no, it’s not possible, it’s certainly the market, so as a result, it’s day “7”, what about the bank? But I was wearing a mask!

Reset and repeat. And again I guarantee that you will not reach a definitive answer.

confused

July 16th, I’m so frustrated, my temperature still not as normal as it should be after almost 10 days and I’m angry. Is this med is damn expired? 😡 Another weekend and I’m still locked in! What a waste of time!

Finally, your freedom is connected to the most important word in the Covid world “Negative” once you hear it, you are free. Yes, negativity will set you free! Or not?
July 18th, I tested negative and I was set free but is it over? I guess we need a new post because this is another story.

This Covid cycle can be easily repeated until a day will come and the world will announce that Covid 19 is over, vanished!

But currently, Covid-19 is way far from over, and consequently, we are not hearing this magical sentence anytime soon.


Stay Safe!

Author
Huguette Antoun
August 2nd, 2022
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