The Soul’s Resignation!

Another very old Arabic writing that I decided to translate and publish.
Most of my Arabic writings are actually sad, reflecting some period of my life. Please don’t wish me to get well, it was written long time ago.
I did my best with the translation; I hope I gave it its proper right.
Hope you will enjoy the misery 🙂

Original version: Classical Arabic:

إستقالة الروح

أشعر بالموت يقترب منّي
يدنو بحذر خلسة في ظلام الليل
يتسلل إلى حنايا قلبي رويداً رويداً
يختبىء بين ضلوعي وأحشائي
فأشعر فجأة بالمرارة والتعب والإنكسار

لقد فقدت قدرتي على المقاومة
لكأنني دخلت في غيبوبة طويلة
حيث لا يبقى لي نبضٌ سوى بضع آلات موصولة بجسدي وبقايا ضلوعي
تحاول جاهدةً إفاقة الجسد
بينما الروح قد غطّت منذ زمن في سباتٍ عميق

وأية حاجة للجسد
إنزعوا هذه الآلات عنّي
إنني جثة هامدة منذ عصور
مذ باتت روحي أسيرة بين قضبان الخمول واليأس والإنكسار
حتى ماتت اختناقاً وقضى القلب حسرةً عليها!
فأي جسدٍ تنقذون؟
أوليس الجسد تراباً ؟
أوليس غلافاً ليس إلاّ؟
يفنى ويزول في يوم أو سنة أو سنوات
ولا يبقى سوى لمعانقة الروح والقلب وسكناهما في ملجأ دافئ؟

دعوه يذهب لقد انتهت مهمته منذ زمن
فبات كحارس القبور
كمرشدٍ أعمى
وخطيبٍ أخرس

يا إلهي يا لحسرتي وعمق أحزاني
ما أردت شيئاً سوى راحة النفس وصفاء الروح والذهن والقلب
ما أردت سوى العطاء بحبٍ بعدلٍ بكرامةٍ واحترام
ما أردت سوى الحب ما أردت سواه
خانني القدر وخالفني لم أستطع أن أتحداه
عجزت
فإن خسرت كانت تعاستي
وإن ربحت كانت ولا شك… نهايتي

English Translation:

The Soul’s Resignation!

I feel death approaching me
It treads cautiously in the darkness of the night
It slips slowly into the depth of my heart
It hides between my ribs and my bones!
So I suddenly feel bitterness, fatigue and conquest.

I lost my ability to resist
As if I entered into a long coma
Where no pulse remains except few machines attached to my body and what remains of my rips
Trying hard to wake up the body
While the soul has fell in a very deep sleep ages ago!

And what’s the need for the body?
Remove these machines from me!
I am a corpse since ages!
Since my soul has become captive between the rods of idleness and despair and defeat
Until it died of suffocation and the heart died from weeping it!
What body are you saving?
Isn’t the body is merely dust!
Isn’t it just a cover?
It will vanish and disappear in a day, a year or years
And it just remains to embrace the spirit and the heart and provide them a warm shelter?

Let my heart go. Its mission is over long time ago!
It became as a tomb guard!
As a blind guide!
And mute orator!

All I wanted is to give with love, fairness, dignity and respect!
I just wanted “love” I didn’t want anything else!
Fate betrayed me and disagreed with me!
I was impotent!
If I lose, it would be my misery
And if I win, no doubt … My end!

Hope you enjoyed “the misery” 🙂 your thoughts are always welcome 😊

Huguette Antoun – July 18th 2019

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70 Comments »

  1. 😭 Oh my heart is in so much pain! But thank you so much for translating this amazing poem Hug. It tells so much feeling. Although that last line broke my heart, I love it so…

    • So I can still make you cry Jess huh? 🙂 if your heart is in pain, imagine how I was feeling!
      So happy you loved it 😊💕 poems speak to you so fast as I see 🙂

      • Yes, it’s seems to twist you from the inside. Haha 😀 Yeah, poem are easy as water because they’re the first I learn. I was reciting poems long before I can read.

      • I was dying actually and tried to take my life at some point…anyway long time ago 🙂 Happy you loved it, I also as very good in poems in Arabic and French, I used to be the best in analyzing the poems and the fuck the author wants 😁😁😁 (even though as I said before, it’s stupid, because we’ll never really know! ) take my poem, I’m sure many didn’t know what I meant and this is fine with me

      • I’m so glad you never succeeded taking your life and instead produced this poem that although filled with pain and misery… is still a wonderful read.

        Oh well, I think deep poems, especially those that are filled with metaphor are hard but that’s parts of the charm. I just hope I did get you. I’m confident I got the feeling right though.

        PS: Jealous that you can speak French. We often pass France and we look like a wiggling idiots while using body language to communicate. 😂

      • Thank you Jess ❤️ kind of you to say that
        I have many other writings, will see if I can translate them, it’s taking hell a time!
        I’m sure you didn’t get me but you get some parts maybe 😉
        My second language is French but unfortunately it wasn’t useful at work and life but I don’t regret knowing languages, always wanted to speak many languages! I think it’s great
        It’s okay you can be jealous 😌😌
        À bientôt 😝😝

      • Aw, only some ? Pout. Oh well, at least, I got some things right.
        Well, the more language you know, the bigger possibilities you have to get a job everywhere you go. And that’s why I’m doing my best in Spanish.
        Dialects excluded, I know how to write and read 3 language; Filipino (mother-tongue) English and Norwegian. I can understand Spanish and Swedish (but can only clumsily speak it) I know how to read Danish just because it’s similar Norwegian. I won’t understand a Danish person though because their accent is completely different.
        I’m greedy so yes I’m jealous because I doubt I’ll ever learn French. But hey if you travel to French talking countries you won’t problem unlike me 😦 😄

      • Don’t pout on me 😂 some things are more than enough
        The way I see it English is ruling the world, I didn’t use my French in something useful since school but probably in countries speaking French it will be useful
        You know many languages as well! About me it’s enough to speak and understand when it comes to additional languages like Spanish and Italian, I want to just speak and understand, hopefully one day 😊

      • Oh well the language I learn is important for me. After all my beloved mother-in-law can only say a few words in English “How are you” “ok” and “What do you say” 😂 I wanted so badly to speak with her so I made it a mission to learn Norwegian.

  2. Oh my, I love this, my soul is burning in pain, but my heart is jumping because I love it.
    This was soulfood to me❤️
    Yes, I know I am strange, but this poem blew me away.
    Sad to think about, but it is always a good feeling to write about emotions and how we feel❤️Well, it is good for me.
    Thank you for translate it, deeply appreciate it.

    • I know that pain speaks louder than joy for some people and I know that you would love these words ❤️
      Yes I cannot write the same now , we should always write what we feel because feelings are like waves, they change constantly
      I do appreciate your words and admiration so much ❤️😊

  3. So touching dear Huguette ❤️💕
    It is really poignantly beautiful..
    Thank you very much for the translation. The Arabic looks so decent!! Well Huguette, it is so sad but very beautiful ❤️

  4. Haunting, touching, beautiful, heartfelt… I understand your words though Huguette. Sometimes just because the words and the feelings that are their foundation seem to us to be sad, hopeless, it doesn’t mean we need someone to wish us to get better, it doesn’t mean with need attention, or simpathy, it just means that we need to voice out all those thoughts and feelings, and yes, sometimes it also means that we need to share them with the world to get on with our lives a little bit lighter!🤗❤️

    • Thank you so much dear Sonia 🙏🏻 your words mean a lot!
      I mentioned this because some people don’t read so they just start to say words of sympathy even if we don’t need them you see?
      Sympathy never helped anyone in my opinion only actions do, and you are totally right, we just need to voice all these feelings!
      So happy you loved it and appreciate the lovely interaction as always 🤗❤️

  5. I did not enjoyed the misery but I did enjoy your words! Sad and yet beautiful words! Our body indeed is only a cover for our soul! And this is making me angry! Why this body cannot last forever? 🤔 Our soul is eternal 💕
    The picture of the little bird that face up the winter winds is sad and wonderful! The perfect match for these words! 😉🤗
    And the Arabic writing seems a drawing ✍️ 🤗
    🧸🧸🧸🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸

    • Thank you Riby 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the words! I guess you must find a formula for the body to live forever 😁😁
      I love that bird photo, it speaks thousand words! Happy you loved it
      Yes the Arabic is beautiful, too bad most people here don’t understand, the Arabic version is even deeper!
      Weekend is here yayyy 😁😁😁😁 just 3 hours for you hahaha 🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸

      • Magic formula 😅 We need too much magic to be able to resist in this world 🤣😂
        True, it really speaks a thousand words! Is really beautiful that photo!
        I understand you…Sometimes I find it difficult too to translate from Italian to English…as the power of the word is different…However, as always you’ve choose the right and beautiful words!
        Almost weekend yes 🧸🧸🧸🌸🌸🤗🤗💕💕 enjoy it my dear 💕💕🤗🤗🌸🌸🧸🧸

      • 🧙🏼‍♂️ 🧙🏼‍♂️ 🧙🏼‍♂️ 🧙🏼‍♂️ 🎩 🎩 🎩😂😂
        I always prefer to read feelings in their original language but of course it’s not possible
        Thank you for the lovely words 💕💕
        Half an hour for you yayyyyy 🤗🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕💕🧸🧸🧸

  6. Some bad times of our life produces best of our creative soul. And that is thus we say, art is creativity. Loved this symphony of misery. But some pictures are really frightening. Yet it add to the beauty of the flow of this work. 💝💞👍😊

    • yes most creative pieces some from pain and suffer! Thank you dear Tushara, I just love pictures, they also speak loud and glad you loved this work, it means a lot ❤ 💞😊

  7. Hi Huguette ✨ Soul’s resignation. A broken soul’s pain deep from heart, could feel the pain of betrayel and longiness for love. I’m sure it’s more beautiful in Arabic. But you sure did a great work with translations. Great Work ✨🙂✍️ Thanks for your time⏳ in translating a wonderful creation to us. Have a Good Day ! ✨🤗

    • Thank you Simon for reading and for this kind interaction and lovely words 😊 It is more beautiful in Arabic but only few understand the language
      Thank you for your support and time and exchange as usually 😊

      • No, no I am not arguing. I love the title. I understand the situation you faced that time. I had a sister, she was too depressed. I had seen her. From her eyes, I come to know for some people, it is too difficult to survive. I tried a lot to convince her. But I failed. Please don’t take it in negative way. I love the title,even I am thinking of writing one post – “Why soul does not resign”.

      • I know what you mean, don’t worry didn’t take it negatively at all just trying to tell you that what I felt was what I wrote exactly.
        And yes writing a post why soul does not resign is actually a great idea 😊
        Sorry for your sister but at certain point words are not effective, and to be honest I don’t know what is… I succeeded alone but many are not that strong

  8. What has happened?

    God, I love the Arabic part. It feels like your very soul was flayed and burnt. What is a body without a soul? An empty house? What is a heartbeat without hope? What is a breath without relief? What are we without ourselves intact, lost, astray? We’re nothing. That’s who we are. Just blood and bones and tissues and mud…

    • You mean what triggered it? I wish I can say 🙂
      So happy you understand Arabic and happy you loved it and felt the words as they were written 🙏🏻thank you so much for this lovely interaction 🙂

  9. Oho, huge poem❣️Love can make your soul live, or to suffer💜i dont know much about poems, but yours is meaningful, i know i always say it about poems, because i dont really know how to comment them💚

  10. That was a beautiful song.
    Arabic, in general, sounds good when hearing it. I don’t really understand it, but it touches the soul.
    I love the lyrics for mashrou leila 3 minutes. At first, I just liked the tune… but the lyrics were amazing! I liked this one too 🙂

    • Thank you JJ for reading and for the kind appreciation 🙂 I believe we can’t save anyone, each person is responsible of this mission…we can provide support of course and help and love maybe but despite all this, we can’t save a person that is not willing to fight and save themselves
      Thank you so much for the nomination, I guess I visited the post earlier today 🙂

  11. Oh pain. Speaks volumes. Shoots straight at the heart. I have no words …… just LOVE…..

    Thank you Huguette ….. you always move me. ❤️

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