Do we really do it solely for ourselves?

We keep hearing that we need to do it for ourselves, anything in this life, to succeed, to grow,  to change, to improve, to be happy…Everything just for us!  
We must be happy from within, we must make peace with ourselves, love ourselves…Yes it’s all major but does it really matters if we are completely alone? Like literally alone!
There are no people around to compete with, to impress, to admire, to love and to share our thoughts, our happiness our sadness…
Or there are people, but no one gives a shit about you! Like literally!  Imagine a city like “Equilibrium” movie where people are not allowed to feel, all emotions are suppressed and all kind of feelings is a crime punishable by death! No interaction, nothing! So what you would feel or do? (Oh you’re not allowed to feel but just saying 😀 )


Would you care if you had a perfect body shape or the six-pack?  Would you care to wear the branded and expensive clothes? Would you care to put make up and wear expensive perfumes? Would you care to be a general manager in a very reputable company or just a janitor?
Would you care if no one cares?
What would stir you up?

Would you chase this master or doctoral degree, would you work hard to open that business, to be a great writer, painter, teacher, coach, lawyer, doctor, would you be an avid lover of anything at all? Would you? 

It is true that we need to make peace with our inner self, yes it is!  We need to be happy from inside and do it firstly because we want it but there is a fact that we are affected by other people, we are mostly motivated by other people, probably idols, probably people we love, friends, family… it is known that people with healthy relationships are the happiest! They can conquer the world! And people with toxic relationships and various issues have hard and unhappy life and these healthy relationships start with the family! The major foundation…

Most important and famous people are inspired by people they love deeply…they wrote books, novels, made the best movies … inventions, creativity, success for these people! As many lives have been destroyed or reached the bottom because of other people (irrespective of the fact that we shouldn’t be affected and we are enough and all this theory that is eventually right but until we get there, it’s a long journey and it’s impossible not to be affected).

Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Pablo Picasso, Maya Angelou, Stevie Wonder and Charlie Chaplin’ careers were inspired by their mothers: Lincoln said: “All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”.
Picasso said: “My mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier you’ll be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”

John Lennon’s wife “Yoko Ono” influenced him as musician and activist and when they asked him why he couldn’t be alone without her he said “I can be, but I don’t wish to be, there is no reason on earth why I should be without her.”

I’ll make it simpler, we live our lives trying to reach the point that I’m doing it solely for me I’m the only one that matters and all the mentioned is right but I want you to close your eyes and envision:
You are the greatest writer ever but no one is reading…
You are the most beautiful woman on earth but no one cares or no one even looking.
You are the most famous athlete in the world but according to whom? There’s no one to compete.
The world is oblivious to your existence, to your talents and skills!

The fact of using the most, the best, the better…requires competition and audience! Otherwise would you care? How would you feel?

I believe that self-confidence and self-satiety are all major but we are affected by other people since the day we were born!
I can tell you many stories about people whom one smile changed their life, one nice word, one person, one kiss, one abrupt meeting… Do they lack self-confidence? No, they don’t but they need someone to witness their life, they need motivation even when you seek motivation from success not from other people, this success source is other people! How do you know it’s successful if there are no people clapping, if there are no competitors, followers and witnesses? I can tell you that sometimes the mere thought of meeting someone you deeply care for and seeing them proud of you, makes you perform wonders! Even if you never met

We want to be alone sometimes because we can’t be with certain people, because we are deeply hurt probably but no one wants to be alone and no one wants to do it only for them! If they really do, then how we knew? Of course it excludes your alone time you crave sometimes, to meditate, to have rest, to enjoy some moments.

What are your thoughts and opinions on this matter? Do you have a personal experience to share?

H.A – February 13th 2019


  1. I agree with you! While some “alone time” is great, I need nurturing from family and friends! And I am certain it was my dear, late mother who inspired me to believe in myself to achieve my career goal! Thank you for making me think!

    • Thank you for reading and for your valuable interaction 🙂 May her soul rest in peace, the mother love is really indescribable! Glad you achieved your goals, I believe the people we love can do miracles but of course with our will and work as well 🙂

  2. Helo The folk legends, the mouth of the world, the voices of some parents say that marrying a young man is a chore, that you bind your head though it does not hurt you, drastically reduce the time of fun, forgive your youth, problems appear earlier, you have time for yourself, etc.

    Is that really so? As one who got married at 21, I can tell you that marrying a very young is the best decision, I have won years of force, determination, strength of youth to invest in the highest the blessing of what we received on earth, namely in the family, the image of God on earth. Even young people have made children, they are my greatest achievement and the best investment (an eternal investment unlike houses and cars that remain here).

    To run away from a family is to run away from what can best define you as a human being. To be afraid that you have to share everything, give it all, sacrifice yourself, and seek to preserve yourself in the “form of indifference” is very dangerous. Because you may like this way of life “sober and relaxed.” I’m not saying that lonely ones do not give, one is not yet found, or choose celibacy to dedicate yourself to a noble cause and the other is to kick off any occasion, except that you have reservations and suspicions about whoever listen to the mother who told you what frustrations and tensions are in her relationship with my dad or vice versa.

    If you have gathered the world’s words and think of the family as a prison, I want to tell you that for me the family is actually leaving my own carapace in the real light of life!

    God help!

    P.S. In the picture are some of the young people of the Profides Bucharest community who will say a great DA this year. 

  3. Sorry the comment went to Spam! Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience through the valuable interaction…Of course family is important, my post was questioning if we really do things just for our sake or we have some kind of motivation coming from people we love / family / friends / lovers…I’m sure your family is a great inspiration for you!
    Best Of luck always 🙂

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