Do we really do it solely for ourselves?
We keep hearing that we need to do it for ourselves, anything in this life, to succeed, to grow, to change, to improve, to be happy…Everything just for us!
We must be happy from within, we must make peace with ourselves, love ourselves…Yes it’s all major but does it really matters if we are completely alone? Like literally alone!
There are no people around to compete with, to impress, to admire, to love and to share our thoughts, our happiness our sadness…
Or there are people, but no one gives a shit about you! Like literally! Imagine a city like “Equilibrium” movie where people are not allowed to feel, all emotions are suppressed and all kind of feelings is a crime punishable by death! No interaction, nothing! So what you would feel or do? (Oh you’re not allowed to feel but just saying 😀 )
Would you care if you had a perfect body shape or the six-pack? Would you care to wear the branded and expensive clothes? Would you care to put make up and wear expensive perfumes? Would you care to be a general manager in a very reputable company or just a janitor?
Would you care if no one cares?
What would stir you up?
Would you chase this master or doctoral degree, would you work hard to open that business, to be a great writer, painter, teacher, coach, lawyer, doctor, would you be an avid lover of anything at all? Would you?
It is true that we need to make peace with our inner self, yes it is! We need to be happy from inside and do it firstly because we want it but there is a fact that we are affected by other people, we are mostly motivated by other people, probably idols, probably people we love, friends, family… it is known that people with healthy relationships are the happiest! They can conquer the world! And people with toxic relationships and various issues have hard and unhappy life and these healthy relationships start with the family! The major foundation…
Most important and famous people are inspired by people they love deeply…they wrote books, novels, made the best movies … inventions, creativity, success for these people! As many lives have been destroyed or reached the bottom because of other people (irrespective of the fact that we shouldn’t be affected and we are enough and all this theory that is eventually right but until we get there, it’s a long journey and it’s impossible not to be affected).
Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Pablo Picasso, Maya Angelou, Stevie Wonder and Charlie Chaplin’ careers were inspired by their mothers: Lincoln said: “All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”.
Picasso said: “My mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier you’ll be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”
John Lennon’s wife “Yoko Ono” influenced him as musician and activist and when they asked him why he couldn’t be alone without her he said “I can be, but I don’t wish to be, there is no reason on earth why I should be without her.”
I’ll make it simpler, we live our lives trying to reach the point that I’m doing it solely for me I’m the only one that matters and all the mentioned is right but I want you to close your eyes and envision:
You are the greatest writer ever but no one is reading…
You are the most beautiful woman on earth but no one cares or no one even looking.
You are the most famous athlete in the world but according to whom? There’s no one to compete.
The world is oblivious to your existence, to your talents and skills!
The fact of using the most, the best, the better…requires competition and audience! Otherwise would you care? How would you feel?
I believe that self-confidence and self-satiety are all major but we are affected by other people since the day we were born!
I can tell you many stories about people whom one smile changed their life, one nice word, one person, one kiss, one abrupt meeting… Do they lack self-confidence? No, they don’t but they need someone to witness their life, they need motivation even when you seek motivation from success not from other people, this success source is other people! How do you know it’s successful if there are no people clapping, if there are no competitors, followers and witnesses? I can tell you that sometimes the mere thought of meeting someone you deeply care for and seeing them proud of you, makes you perform wonders! Even if you never met
We want to be alone sometimes because we can’t be with certain people, because we are deeply hurt probably but no one wants to be alone and no one wants to do it only for them! If they really do, then how we knew? Of course it excludes your alone time you crave sometimes, to meditate, to have rest, to enjoy some moments.
What are your thoughts and opinions on this matter? Do you have a personal experience to share?
H.A – February 13th 2019